This is how hard I party on the weekend.

ax

this ax looks like it killed someone at some point in time. I can't remember where I got it from...

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blue sky in dirty water

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Stupid Bird

Highlight of my day. Just watch the first 20 seconds.

New Glasses.

No Pants.

Idaho Potato's mascot disturbs me.

being found out

I've been at this job for just shy of a year and even though I'm quite comfortable here I still have an fear of being found out. It's not that I don't do a good job or try to make major improvements in every area I stick my nose in.  Maybe someone will say "Hey you don't really belong here" or "You aren't qualified to do this." It may sound stupid but I think it's a real fear that other people experience.

When I new problem pops its head up at work I google it. That's standard practice in my field but does that mean I don't know what I'm doing? Maybe. I learn from every new situation. I try to teach myself in advance or problems I see coming down the road. Is that enough? Why is it that still after a year I feel like it's building up to one big explosion of inexperience?

Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I provide support for a good chunk of staff but at the same time I can't actually make a single decision that would benefit them in the end. Part of me is glad that this is where I am. If anything thing really hits the fan the blame, supposedly, won't fall on me. But the other part feels stifled like I can't make a move.

Don't get me wrong I like my job. I just wish I knew more...

connected

Andrea deleted her Facebook account. Yep that's right. She just up and deleted it. Will she go back and use it again one of these days? Probably. But what I find interesting is her ability to be unconnected. I tried to explain the implications of deleting her account but she'd already made up her mind. She knows people won't miss her online and that's not how she connects with the people she loves.

On the other hand I'm connected online. I've thought about deleting my Facebook account before. I've never come close to doing it but I've let the thought dance across my mind. Why do I need it? I did fine without it for all those years. (By the way what did we do online before there was YouTube?)

Why do we need to be connected online? Why can't we be satisfied with the face to face connections we have?

I occasionally post something profound (stupid) to Facebook or Twitter but lately I've found myself in the habit of people watching. Not exactly stalking but reading blogs, wall posts, and tweets. It's very interesting to see how people's lives are forming. People that I've had a face to face relationship with at one time or another. With each line or blog post I can see how a person is living or what's inspiring them at the moment. It in turn inspires me. Maybe not to the point where I'm going to paint a work or art or write a novel but it makes my soul smile.

Sorry about the jumble of thoughts.

Before and After

eyes

I didn't wear my glasses today. I wore my contacts. I feel like my eyes are getting older. When I look at my computer monitors with the contacts in I feel like my eyes are doing all they can to push back from my desk. I don't like wearing my glasses all the time but they don't make my eyes ache. When did this happen? Did I somehow mess up at the eye doctor? Or are my eyes really just getting older? Are bifocals in my future?

Memorial Weekend

Rachel's Graduation

Waiting to eat

Food

My grandpa looking at tools

My cousin smiling

Rachel after Graduation

Sitting around the table

Jack, my parents new dog.

My beautiful wife smiling at me

Relaxing by the cold water

Self shot

Dad and Daniel relaxing by the pool

Daniel thinking

Mom keeping score

Andrea smiling at her soon to be victory

Daniel and Rachel thinking hard

Rachel losing to Andrea and me at Scrabble 

Trust me it got better than this.