SNOW!

Commute home was about 2 hours. Ah winter, there you are.

bad mayo?

So I left my chicken salad out for about three to four hours in my office today. Should I throw it away? Is food poisoning going to be a part of my weekend? It's just that this is a really good recipe and I feel bad for leaving it out let alone throwing it away.

Hmm...

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Food Strikes

So the beans weren't that great but life goes on. I will forgive the Barefoot Contessa, but to be fair I work off of a three strike system. I buried that Italian chick a long time ago. The only person who can't strike out is the wife but to be fair we sleep together...

Wife's Green Smoothie

ok

I'm ok. Are you ok? Late night blogging. Andrea's watching a documentary on Woodstock. I'm laying in bed tapping away on my phone. Andrea says she could have been a hippie and I'm disagreeing with her. People did some crazy stuff back then.

It's amazing that they could get five hundred thousand people together without twitter and FB.

That's about it.

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unbreakable lifeline

Hebrews 6:18-19 MSG

God can’t break his word. And because his word cannot change, the promise is likewise unchangeable.
We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God.

That's a good word.

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insurmountable task

Remember how big things were as a kid? Everything was big and difficult. I was listening to my young cousins react to the mess they had to clean up in the family room at my grandma's house and it made me laugh. The mess only consisted of toys scattered across the floor, but to them the cleanup job was insurmountable. What would take an adult a total of five minutes to clear was going to, in their minds, take a life time. All of this made me think back to my childhood and how my room was always a mess or the basement was recovering from friends sleeping over. Or even problems at school or with friends. I remembered thinking the same things about how difficult the clean up process was going to be. It made me laugh again at how simple my mind was as a child and how, over time, I learned to tackle what once were insurmountable tasks as an adult. Another part of me wonders if we still look at things the same way as we did as children. The only difference is the "mess in the basement" is a lot bigger and complicated. All we need to do is ask God to help us clean it up or at least get his input on the situation. He looks at the mess the same way a parent looks at their child's mess. He sees the big picture and will provide you with knowledge and favor to work through any issue. He has even said death and illness are conquered so no situation is outside of his grace and mercy. God has given us full access to his throne and said ask and it will be given to you! If we don't ask, how can he give to us? We are not servants but friends of the most high God! He asks nothing in return except to be with us. He wants to partner with us in every situation. If you think I'm crazy, try it. Even if you you're an atheist, you can try it. You don't have to be religious or a part of a church. God didn't create religion, man did. All you need is to ask God and he will reply. You'll know it when you see it.

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pick up rant

I don't care for politics. I rarely engage in debate about senseless political topics. I don't think healthcare reform will doom us. In my heart of hearts I know that if this or that party makes it into office the world will not end. I don't believe in cable news. I hate when someone begins a conversation with what they heard on any newsentertainment cable show. And yes, they are entertainment shows. Shows that invoke emotion so you will watch Viagra commercials. The media is no more slanted to one side over the other. They choose what they want to report based on what they think you will watch. If a Christian organization owns your news agency, than yes you will hear it differently than other media outlets. Everyone has an agenda. What I do care about is life. I care about my family's life. I care about your life. I also, whether you believe it, care about random individuals. I believe life begins the moment the little sperm hits that little egg. I believe stopping that process is a tragedy and an injustice for the child being put to death. I realize this is a hot topic, but I rarely touch on these things. I still love you even if you hate me. I still love he person who does what I don't agree with. Hating someone for what they have done will never change a culture. My battery is dying. I'll rant more later.

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busy

Work has been busy lately. Life has been slow. At least these two things complement each other. I really need to spend some time on this training presentation I have on Friday. I have an hour and 15 minutes to fill. The easy part is it's on technology. The bad part is that it is related to distance education. "How can we make this better..." and so on. My schedule has also been messed up this week. That doesn't really seem to help either. The only benefit is having into the afternoon to spend with Andrea. She loves me a lot. I'm really glad she does too. The last 6 or so months have been tough but as a couple God has brought us together in a way that I couldn't even explain to another married couple. It's hard to see what God has planned for us in the future but whatever it is I know Andrea and I will be able to handle it. We've gotten to the point where we have to start trusting him in every area of life. He will heal and He will provide. He does heal and He does provide. There is no other way to look at it. You can't do it on your own. You can't say "well if he doesn't show up then..." That statement is the definition of religion. It's hard, but if you press in you will have that private victory and with that  a corporate victory! People need to see the power of God!

databasing it Access style

I've been on one lately. I've spent the last week creating an inventory database in Access while at the same time teaching myself Access. I can only honestly say it has to be a supernatural knowledge download from God. I tried to do this once before but I was completely lost. I couldn't get anything to work the way I wanted it to. But since I convinced my boss that the spreadsheets were eventually going to kill us and that a database was the only way to manage our ever expanding inventory, things have been kicking! Now don't get me wrong, I've seen some pretty amazing databases in Access and some would say I'm a sissy for using Access in the first place, but what I've done with what I know deserves a virtual pat on the back. Heck, I'd upload screen shots if it wasn't such a boring thing to be bragging about. It's still not finish and has a long way to go but I feel confident in saying that I believe this will be adopted at the new inventory management system for my region of the state. w00t!

Dreaming

I finished another book. Dreaming with God by Bill Johnson. I feel a hunger and a thirst in my soul for God that I don't recall ever having before. God is definitely shaping and molding me into something. I know there's a wall I need to get through. I can't scale it. I need to walk through the door. God want to co-labor with me and I want to with him. I want to dream with God. Jesus said we are friends of God and because of this he shares with us and we can share with him. He doesn't want robotic followers. He want us to share our dreams and desire with him!  

hello

Slept in this morning. The dinger on the oven randomly went off. I'm still laying in bed. I need to get some coffee going. Even if it is noon, that doesn't mean that you skip coffee. This is going to be a short week. I took Thursday off and the following Monday. We're going to get out of town and have some fun. Hopefully this will kick start my desire work hard. I'm burned out as of right now. Everything I'm asked to do makes me shutter. It's not that I hate what I do but I sometimes hate what I do.

Lately I've had the urge to produce something. So much of what I do is service and keeping things running. Of course a lot odlf jobs are like this but I feel like I have nothing to show at the end of the day/week/month. I want to be creative and produce something. Make something happen. I'm not sure what but I'm know that's what I want to do. I even see the construction crews when I'm driving to work and I think that those guys are really making something. Not that I want to work construction but I know that I want to be apart of something the produces. I want to use my imagination for something more than virus removal and how fast I can setup a computer.

Just some thoughts. Not quite sure what it is yet but I'm leaning towards something.

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almost

The night's almost over. Another Monday. Tear. I got to get out of the office today. That was a plus. I like that it rained. I like the changing of the seasons. I don't like being stuck in a season forever. I love when winter first pops its head in but but give me a month and I'm ready for spring. Changing seasons is one of the most amazing things on earth.

Andrea and I are going to Redding in a two more weeks. I'm excited. I'm just not showing it with my punctuation. We're going to visit friends but most of all we're going to spend time with God. I feel like our personal season is in middle of change. I feel like it's been this way for a couple of months and in two weeks it will reach its peak. God will speak to us there. He speaks to everyone everywhere(whether they are listening or not) but some times when you pick up and go your mind and heart are set on hearing. The more you expect from God the more he expects to give you. I'm serious about this. Andrea needs a miracle and we know God will heal the MS. I don't know what the future holds, but when I put my trust in God I know it's in good hands.

The seeds are planted in fertile ground, now all we need is the son.

Peace out internet world.

I just found out.

So I thought the meeting was tomorrow, but it's next Tuesday. This helps. I seriously thought this was going to be my undoing. I thought that I would blow a gasket. But it's ok. The meeting is next week. I'm tired.

I stand by every choice I've made. "Where you lead, I will follow" has been my unwritten law. I've felt as though God has truly lead me to where I am at this exact moment in life. Don't get me wrong, but I've made mistakes and I know I haven't always acted when I've felt God lead. Now, I feel as though he's taken me to the edge of the new plain. What's up ahead is going to be extraordinary. With this new place, will come freedom. 

My boss asked me today in an otherwise painful conversation if I wanted more autonomy. I knew she was asking this in a rhetorical sense but just now I feel as though God is asking me. "Michael, do you want more autonomy?"

I don't know what this is going to mean but I'm ready to find out. 

au·ton·o·my 

[aw-ton-uh-mee]

–noun, plural -mies.

1.

independence or freedom, as of the will or one's actions: theautonomy of the individual.

2.

the condition of being autonomous; self-government, or theright of self-government; independence: The rebelsdemanded autonomy from Spain.

3.

a self-governing community. 

September 22nd, 2010

Today I got a hair cut. Made eggs and toast. Kissed my wife. Drank a mug and a half of coffee. Went to work. It rained a little bit. Grabbed Wendy's for lunch. Spicy chicken. Almost lost my temper. Walked it off. Talked about the future. Communicated. Ate wheat thins while watching a student take a math exam. Felt relief that I wasn't taking the exam.

That brings me to the present. Tonight I plan on going home kissing my wife. Give her a shot. Pray for her healing. Then let the ZZzz's take over from there.

That's my day.

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Today

I rarely lose my patience...

title

I wonder what's next. Lately my mind has been drifting to what's coming. I don't know what it is but I can feel it. I know I'm not where I will stay. I know we will be somewhere unbelievable. I just don't know when or where. My mind says "oh well, you're just bored," but my heart responds with a quickened beat. My mind is giving in. It is being renewed.

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thoughts

My mind can stop. I can literally go blank. Is that a gift? Or is it a curse? I know I compartmentalize things. I wish I could let me thoughts wander like when I was a child. I wish my imagination could dream up the impossible like it once did. I would like my mind to completely renew itself. I want to see what my soul feels with my mind.

It's possible. I'm almost there...

4 Wheeling Video

Shot with my Incredible (720p) One handed, following my cousin.

wife's toast

jelly is better.

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4 wheels

Good times had by all.

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yay!

HOLIDAY WEEKEND!

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audition

this software makes all things possible.

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classroom of the future.

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my windshield

rocks have speckled the the whole thing.

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things my sister should know before going to college.

1. Boys are immature, this includes professors.
2. Half of the stuff you learn is worthless, but makes for great conversation material. Aka it let's people know you are a college kid.
3. Pick a major that you love and worry about the economic effects of that decision later.
4. Have fun but don't do anything your two brothers wouldn't do.
5. Learn from every mistake made around you, but make sure to make some mistakes yourself.
6. Date someone.
7. Join a club or some sort of social group.
8. Find at least three friends that are completely different from each other. This will make for good times.
9. Buckle down and pass math classes the first time through.
10. Both of your brothers have to pass off on any guy you think "may be the one".

There's more but that should get her started.

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Another night

toes

Yep. Toes.

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I held Peyton

I finally held my little niece and she didn't cry. Yay!

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postcard to my brother

He is off at ROTC Army Training. I hope he likes my card.

dinner

Tonight was roast! A good homestyle meal. Our little place smelt so good I'm sure the neighbors were jealous. Yum...

My wife is such a wonderful cook! I even pealed the potatoes. Looks good, doesn't it?

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...

My wife just walked down the hall so I don't have very long. There's something I have to tell you. That she can see. Crap.

sunset

Peaceful but still at work...

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me just loving you

I love you. I really do. Thanks for being there even when I'm not. You support me through every trial big and small. You understand me. When I push you hug. When I cry you hold. When I pray you listen. Before I am lost you've already found me. You are a still small voice whsipering the same thing over and over until I get it. You never lose your temper when I screw up.

You are true love.

You are my God.

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time

When you are stuck in a place that is not the place you wish to be, time is not your friend.

When you are in a place you want to be, time is still against you.

Time is never with you. God is with you, but not time. God is outside of time. (That Must be nice.) To be in existance without time...just think about it.

Why as humans do we not have enough time? You don't have enough time to get to work. Not enough time to spend with friends and family. Not enough time to pick up that hobby. Not enough time to see your kids. Not enough time to see the ends of the earth.

When we die, time dies. Time may be against you but it isn't your enemy. Time lives with us. Time is unique for each of us. Time will respect you if you respect it.

A rant for the day.

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cheese

I like cheese.

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This is how hard I party on the weekend.

ax

this ax looks like it killed someone at some point in time. I can't remember where I got it from...

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blue sky in dirty water

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Stupid Bird

Highlight of my day. Just watch the first 20 seconds.

New Glasses.

No Pants.

Idaho Potato's mascot disturbs me.

being found out

I've been at this job for just shy of a year and even though I'm quite comfortable here I still have an fear of being found out. It's not that I don't do a good job or try to make major improvements in every area I stick my nose in.  Maybe someone will say "Hey you don't really belong here" or "You aren't qualified to do this." It may sound stupid but I think it's a real fear that other people experience.

When I new problem pops its head up at work I google it. That's standard practice in my field but does that mean I don't know what I'm doing? Maybe. I learn from every new situation. I try to teach myself in advance or problems I see coming down the road. Is that enough? Why is it that still after a year I feel like it's building up to one big explosion of inexperience?

Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I provide support for a good chunk of staff but at the same time I can't actually make a single decision that would benefit them in the end. Part of me is glad that this is where I am. If anything thing really hits the fan the blame, supposedly, won't fall on me. But the other part feels stifled like I can't make a move.

Don't get me wrong I like my job. I just wish I knew more...

connected

Andrea deleted her Facebook account. Yep that's right. She just up and deleted it. Will she go back and use it again one of these days? Probably. But what I find interesting is her ability to be unconnected. I tried to explain the implications of deleting her account but she'd already made up her mind. She knows people won't miss her online and that's not how she connects with the people she loves.

On the other hand I'm connected online. I've thought about deleting my Facebook account before. I've never come close to doing it but I've let the thought dance across my mind. Why do I need it? I did fine without it for all those years. (By the way what did we do online before there was YouTube?)

Why do we need to be connected online? Why can't we be satisfied with the face to face connections we have?

I occasionally post something profound (stupid) to Facebook or Twitter but lately I've found myself in the habit of people watching. Not exactly stalking but reading blogs, wall posts, and tweets. It's very interesting to see how people's lives are forming. People that I've had a face to face relationship with at one time or another. With each line or blog post I can see how a person is living or what's inspiring them at the moment. It in turn inspires me. Maybe not to the point where I'm going to paint a work or art or write a novel but it makes my soul smile.

Sorry about the jumble of thoughts.

Before and After

eyes

I didn't wear my glasses today. I wore my contacts. I feel like my eyes are getting older. When I look at my computer monitors with the contacts in I feel like my eyes are doing all they can to push back from my desk. I don't like wearing my glasses all the time but they don't make my eyes ache. When did this happen? Did I somehow mess up at the eye doctor? Or are my eyes really just getting older? Are bifocals in my future?

Memorial Weekend

Rachel's Graduation

Waiting to eat

Food

My grandpa looking at tools

My cousin smiling

Rachel after Graduation

Sitting around the table

Jack, my parents new dog.

My beautiful wife smiling at me

Relaxing by the cold water

Self shot

Dad and Daniel relaxing by the pool

Daniel thinking

Mom keeping score

Andrea smiling at her soon to be victory

Daniel and Rachel thinking hard

Rachel losing to Andrea and me at Scrabble 

Trust me it got better than this.

Summer of food

Since Andrea is school free for the summer fresh new dinner recipes have been finding their way into my belly. She's been on a cooking streak. I'm try to convince her to let me video her cooking so I can blog her chef skills but I think it will still take a little longer to get that one approved.

Starting tonight I'm going to try and start at least taking a picture of the food. The only problem with a picture is it tells only a fraction of how good (or bad) the dish is. I guess we'll have to see.

.

I have a hard time finishing posts. I have at least twenty different blog posts from the last 6 months I've started and never posted. Mostly because at the time I'm writing them I feel a certain way about that topic or I've been inspired. Once the inspiration or feeling leaves I can never finish the post. 


I will never be a writer.

Nerdcore

Can you read this?

Let me know if you can read it.

Things I've seen lately...

Blue Sky on Mother's Day

A cute baby

A homemade Greek Salad

Cookies dipped in Pike's Place...

Lots of grass

An apple tree

1972 Chevy (it's seen better days)

An old drum in a back yard

Shifter Knob

An old AM radio

Two old men

A reflection

old ball

Trail mix